A Little Life

Book: A Little Life - Hanya Yanagihara

Members present: Cindi, Christy, Denise, Shea, Karin, Sharon

Venue: 419 West

Discussion Highlights:

This was an ambitious book that was probably beyond the scope of our remedial book club. Nevertheless, 4 out of the 6 of us read the entire thing--which is no small task, given that it was over 700 pages. Shea and Sharon thought that it was ultimately worth it, but I felt manipulated into reading the whole thing because I wanted to know what happened to Jude and almost stopped reading it several times. And by the end I felt ripped off and concluded that the author is sadistic. I tried to do my usual summary but it was so painful to hear even the cliff notes version that Cindi wanted me to stop. If you haven't read the book because you didn't think you would like it, you were probably right.

Having said all of this, there were some positive things about it. The book is well-written. The length of the book allowed for detailed character development, and there were many characters to develop. The relationship between Willem and Jude was by far the best chapter, even though I was pissed off at the end of it. If I ever met someone like Willem in real life, I will reevaluate my stance on never getting married again. He was that loving. Most of us did not think that Willem was actually gay, but rather that he really loved Jude. The depiction of Jude's grief was particularly good in conveying how painful it is to lose the love of your life.

It was difficult to say what the point of the book was as we tried to summarize it. It's sort of like a Shakespearean tragedy in that everyone dies, but with lots of horrifying trauma described in graphic detail. Sharon could not understand how every single guy he ever met wanted to have sex with him, even as a child. We discussed how, despite the fact that Jude's adult life was filled with success and incredibly loving friends, he was never able to feel deserving of love; the damage that was done could never be undone, and his life was never a happy one. At the same time, he was brilliant and exceptional in many ways, despite his history of trauma, even though he had to rely on excessive self-harm to make life bearable. I was also struck by how well the author was able to convey the complexity of things that seem diametrically opposed but equally true. For example, Brother Luke was clearly a monstrous pedophile and pimp, yet he also taught Jude so many of the things that made him exceptional. Or how the period before his adoption, which was the thing that he had wanted his entire life, was one of the times that he was cutting himself the most because it was so difficult to tolerate something good.

We all think that the author must have had some kind of trauma, or was involved with someone who was severely traumatized, because I'm not sure how you could write this book without knowing what it's like to be that damaged. Karin asked if the book got reviews, and it turns out that the reviews were mixed. There is surprisingly little written on the author. In the book, the author description only says that she lives in New York City. In Wikipedia, it says nothing about her personal life other than that she is of Hawaiian decent, and there is no picture of her. She has another book, but I know I don't want to read it. And if this book is ever turned into a movie, I don't think any of us will go see it. Although I do wonder who they would cast as Jude, because he must have been extraordinarily good-looking.

Next book:

Karin has agreed to host our next meeting, which will be in July at her house at the lake. She has not yet picked a book out, but we all recommended that she choose something lighter and happier.

The Girl on the Train

Book: The Girl on the Train - Paula Hawkins

Members Present: Terrie, Christy, Gina, Annette, Marie, Karin, Denise, Sharon, Lorelei, Cindi, Lina. (Not in photo: Shea) Record attendance!

Venue: Athens

Book Discussion:

Here is one disadvantages of having almost everyone attend book club and to have it at a restaurant: it's hard for everyone to be in the same conversation. Which means there were 2 discussions going on, not necessarily at the same time, and half of the group discussed the book more than the other did. So even though it would seem that this summary isn't necessary since almost everyone was there, it actually is, because not everyone heard what we talked about.

Some people liked the book and some people didn't. Some found it difficult to get into and others found it to be a quick read. Some found the disjointed, out of sequence style difficult to follow. I thought the style was meant to be intentionally confusing so that you could get a sense of what it was like for Rachel to be drunk, blacked out, and hung over most of the time. In fact, if you appreciated the feeling of being in the character's head, you should check out the movie Memento, which is presented in a similar style and meant to illustrate what it's like to have amnesia.

I don't read many mystery novels, but this seemed to be a pretty good one. Most people didn't realize who the killer was until the very end of the book. Marie said she knew right away because Tom was way too nice. I didn't think he was that nice, since he had an affair and left his wife. I thought it was weird that he killed her because, once he hit her harder than he meant to and she was bleeding to death, he thought it would be easier to just finish the job and try to bury her with his bare hands in the middle of a park. It seems like it would be easier just to leave her for dead and get the hell out of there.

All of the characters were crazy, of course, except for the roommate and the therapist. Linda listened to the book on tape and said that the therapist had a really soothing voice, just as a good therapist should. Several people said that it gave them a better appreciation of how difficult it would be to have an addiction and why it's so hard to get better. I mentioned how Rachel was similar to Alice's sister in What Alice Forgot, who became estranged with Alice after she couldn't get pregnant and began isolating herself from everyone because of her grief. And I hadn't thought of it at the time, but Rachel is similar to Megan, too, in that regard. Megan lost her brother when she was a teenager, and her reckless behavior with men was her addiction to cope with her grief.

The book is being turned into a movie, which is supposed to be released some time this year. The info on it can be found here. Lorelei and I didn't like the casting job, since most of them are British and we don't know who they are, so we took the liberty of doing our own casting for the movie. Since we don't know many actors in their 30's, Lorelei just looked up the 50 hottest actors and we based some of our choices entirely on looks. So even though we still don't know who some of these actors are, at least they look more like we thought the characters would look. Here's who we came up with:

Rachel: Jessica Chastain
Megan: Emma Stone
Scott: Chris Helmsworth
Tom: Ryan Gosling
Anna: Margo Robbie
Cathy (roommate): Shailene Woodley
therapist: Ranveer Singh

Next Book:

Linda volunteered to host the next book club. Here is the info on it:

A Little Life by Hanya Yanagihara

When four classmates from a small Massachusetts college move to New York to make their way, they're broke, adrift, and buoyed only by their friendship and ambition. There is kind, handsome Willem, an aspiring actor; JB, a quick-witted, sometimes cruel Brooklyn-born painter seeking entry to the art world; Malcolm, a frustrated architect at a prominent firm; and withdrawn, brilliant, enigmatic Jude, who serves as their center of gravity. Over the decades, their relationships deepen and darken, tinged by addiction, success, and pride. Yet their greatest challenge, each comes to realize, is Jude himself, by midlife a terrifyingly talented litigator yet an increasingly broken man, his mind and body scarred by an unspeakable childhood, and haunted by what he fears is a degree of trauma that he’ll not only be unable to overcome—but that will define his life forever.

Thanks, Sharon, for the recommendation.

We will aim to meet on Wednesday, May 25 @ 6:30 @ 419 West, so mark your calendars.

Until then, happy reading!

Defending Jacob

Book: Defending Jacob - William Landay

Members Present: Shea, Denise, Christy, Sharon, Cindi, Lorelei. Welcome Lorelei and Shea!

Venue: Hollywood's

Book Discussion:

This is the first time in a long time, and perhaps ever, that everyone read the book. We even had a long and intelligent discussion about it. Perhaps it's because we are still within the 3 week period during which people stick to their New Year's resolutions. In any case, we get an A+ for January!

Sharon started the discussion with some excellent, thought-probing questions. Some of the questions we discussed are whether or not there is a murder gene, whether the parents could have done anything differently, whether the father was becoming violent or just responding the way any normal father would, implications of the father's narcissism and denial, whether we thought Jacob was innocent before the ending, how much people lost sleep over the ending, how people felt about the mother's behavior, and whether or not people liked the book. Most people did not believe that murder can be inherited. We were mixed on whether the father was beginning to show his predisposition to violence. Some manifestations of the father's own narcissism were in his superficial evaluation of other people's appearance, the fact that he equated his wife's goodness with her attractiveness, that he continued to see himself as the expert teaching his apprentice how to do an examination, even as he was on the witness stand, and his level of denial and deception in hiding his family history, throwing away the weapon, refusing to see what his son was really like. The wife's behaviors of throwing the knife in the lake and trying to kill Jacob and herself were things that no one saw coming. Most people were shocked by the ending and found it troubling, and most people liked the book.

We also discussed how, because some people have grown up on social media, they do stupid things like confess to crimes, or accuse people of murder, or write "fictional" accounts of how they have committed a murder, not realizing that this information can be used against you.

Cindi reflected how we probably have all been in the kind of denial the father was in, albeit to a lesser degree. I added that I know I was in my first marriage, which, fortunately, at least didn't end in murder. In reference to Jacob's predisposition toward violence, I talked about antisocial personality disorder and how there is no cure for it. I also recommended "The Gift of Fear," by Gavin DeBecker, which discussed men who have similar dispositions and how women can protect themselves from them. I also gave some details in Cho's case, the student responsible for the mass shooting at VT, as a way to illustrate how there is often a lot of denial that goes into the events that lead up to a bad outcome, so the parents were not doing anything differently from what most people do.

Sharon and Denise discussed a similarly disturbing book called "The Room" that closely parallels the kidnapping of the girls by the guy in Cleveland. This book has also been turned into a movie, which they both thought would be difficult to do.

The movie for Defending Jacob is in development. No release date has been set.

Noteworthy News:

Gina got the job at RCC, and I proposed to her so that I could reap the benefits of her membership there, since NDor is closing. No wedding plans are in the works since she needs to get divorced first. She wasn't actually present at the meeting, so this is a good illustration of how we will talk about you if you don't show up. Since Gina is aware of this, she texted me after book club to find out what we said about her, because she is smart. Be like Gina. But not Lorelei, because apparently she hates everyone, which you probably already know if you are friends with her on FB.

We actually didn't gossip that much because our discussion of the book was so long, so the rest of you can relax, although I recommend that you show up in the future.

Next Book:

Denise has volunteered to host the next book club and has chosen "The Girl on the Train," by Paula Hawkins, which is of the same genre as "Defending Jacob." She has chosen the new Greek restaurant downtown. I have never been there so I don't know what is called but am excited about using book club to try out new restaurants! We will meet in March so that we can meet our goal of reading 6 books this year.

After You

Book: After You by Jojo Moyes

Members present: Christy, Denise, Gina, Marie, Linda, Sharon

Venue: Carrabba's

Book Discussion:

Discussion was even shorter than usual because we were so hungry. That was my excuse, at least. For those of us who finished it, we liked Me Before You better. The book started a little slow but got better eventually. Sharon thought the ending was surprising. Gina liked Louisa's dad. I didn't think it was as good of an exploration of grief as What Alice Forgot was, but still worth reading. I thought Wynona Ryder would have been a good Lily when she was a teenager. We couldn't come up with any other casting suggestions.

Marie said that Me Before You is going to be a movie, and it is supposed to be released in march of 2016. So we may have to do a book club movie date! Here is the link: Me Before You. I don't recognize any of the actors. Maybe they're British or Australian? They did not pick Ben Affleck to play Will, as Sharon suggested.

Noteworthy News:

We were so hungry we didn't even gossip that much. The big news is that Linda is now living in Roanoke and has joined book club. Yay! She is also available to sub, if anyone needs one.

Lorelei has also joined our group but was sick and couldn't make it.

And I kicked several people out because they never showed up.

Next Book:

Sharon will be hosting our next book, which is Defending Jacob by William Landay. Venue will be 2nd Helpings. You can check out their website here. We will meet in December so that can at least get 4 books in for 2015, because that's already a pretty low number, even for a remedial book club.

The Hypnotist's Love Story

Members Present: Christy, Annette, Cindi, Sharon, Teri, Marie, Terrie (eventually :))

Venue: Wildflour

Book Discussion:

In general, everyone liked the book but still liked "What Alice Forgot," by the same author, better. We may never read book that we will love more than that one. So if you haven't read it, I highly recommend it.

We spent a good portion of the time summarizing the book for Annette. It was more complex than it seems on the surface. Everyone agreed that Ellen was a lot like me--the kind of person who would try to befriend her stalker. 

Marie thought Patrick was a jerk and that he totally used Ellen. I don't think he's that different from most guys--not good or bad, but quick to find a mother figure and not big on providing closure after a break up. 

Some people felt bad for Jack, Patrick's son, since he lost his mom and then lost Saskia. I thought he seemed pretty well-adjusted. 

Everyone but me liked Ellen's mom, Anne--the single mother/physician who is the exact opposite of Ellen. She does seem to have fun with her two sisters (or were they just friends?). Someone like Shirley McLaine would probably play her. Or is she too old now?

We kept trying to do the discussion questions but ended up gossiping instead. Some of the things we discussed were how the male characters in the book were less interesting than the female characters. Most people could not relate to being dumped because everyone is married but me. I totally admit to being like Saskia in that I will not let the guy end the relationship by ignoring me. 

We also discussed how it's much easier to stalk people these days and some people admitted to looking up some people of interest from the past but not going as far as making contact. I bet you're wondering who, aren't you? Guess you should have been there! 

One of my favorite lines of Saskia's is when she says "if Patrick had been killed in a car accident, I would have been allowed to grieve for him for years. People would have sent me flowers and dropped off casseroles. I would have been allowed to keep his photos up, to talk about him, to remember the good times. But because he dumped me, because he was still alive, my sadness was considered undignified and pathetic."

I also liked her new friend's motto: "knit, don't stalk." Sounds like good therapy to me!

All of the info on hypnosis was accurate. Marie wanted to know if it would work for weight loss. As it indicates in the book, hypnosis works well for things that you are highly motivated for--like avoiding pain, reducing anxiety. It tends to be less effective for things like weight loss, addictions, etc. because we're more ambivalent about giving them up. I told everyone how they can use suggestions as a form of self-hypnosis. See all the useful info you missed out on?

In other book club news, the movie Gone Girl is apparently better than the book, which is rare. The wife--I forget her name--was nominated for Best Actress.

Noteworthy News:

- Teri is officially moving to Colorado, so this will probably be her last book club :(.

- Marie is shopping for tennis clothes on the sales rack because she's retired. So if you hear of any sales, let her know.

- Gina knew we were talking about her and texted me to tell us to stop. 

- I was sick and had to leave early to get my drugs, so that's partly why our book discussion was so short.

I guess there actually wasn't much news to report.

Next Book:

This is Where I Leave You - Jonathan Tropper

Also a movie that some people have seen and loved. I haven't seen the movie, but I know the book is way better. It was freakin' hilarious. I don't know how someone can come up with so many funny lines in one book. But feel free to cheat if you want and just see the movie. It's mainly about the food and good company, anyway.

The Boy in the Striped Pajamas

Members present: Christy, Marie, Sharon (I know! Shocking!), Terrie, Cindi, Gina

Venue: Terrie's house

Menu: chicken and rice casserole, beet and goat cheese salad, fruit salad, Asian salad, cheese and crackers, salted caramel brownies, assorted wines. Recipes available upon request.

Book Discussion

We compared this book to the other Holocaust books we've read--Sarah's Key, The Book Thief. The general consensus was that this was the least depressing of the three, although Marie still didn't read it because she only likes happy books. Cindi pointed out that even if it's painful, we owe it to the people who suffered in the Holocaust to familiarize ourselves with this part of our history.

This lead to a discussion about American Sniper and other movies related to war in the Middle East--Hurt Locker, Zero Dark Thirty. Some of the conversation was admittedly not that deep--like the lack of fashion trends in the Middle East--but most of it was actually pretty meaningful. The ugliness of war, greed, politics. We considered reading the American Sniper biography but decided to lighten things up a bit for our next read.

Noteworthy News

Not a lot of good news, unfortunately. We brought everyone up to date on the relocations that are taking place because of Norfolk Southern closing their Roanoke office. None of us are doing particularly well in the ladder. Gina and Marie had to leave early for a viewing and Sharon was missing her uncle's viewing in order to make it to at least one book club meeting. I honestly can't think of any good news to report, but everyone was in good spirits, nonetheless--what with the food and wine and good company and all.

Next Book:

Our next book will be "The Hypnotist's Wife" by Liane Moriarty--the same author that brought us "What Alice Forgot"--a book club favorite. We needed a light read, and this book really is hilarious. And I'm not just saying that because the main character thinks just like me.

Our next meeting will be Monday, March 23, because Teri Fry will be in town. Location TBD.

Until next time, happy reading and I'll see you on the courts!

The Secret Life of Bees

Members present:  Christy and Gina

Venue: Thelma's Chicken and Waffles

Book Discussion:

Gina and I went through our highlighted quotes to remind ourselves what the book was about, since we read it so long ago. Here were the themes that struck a cord with us:

1. You can love something, even if you're not good at it. Like knitting, for example. Or Karaoke. Hypothetically speaking, that is.  I'm not saying we're bad at these things. 

2. We talked about how people can change for the worse like Lily's dad, and our theory is that it happens when people can't let go of the bad stuff. Especially when they can't forgive. That was one of the quotes in the book. That some people would rather die than forgive. It's that hard. Kind of similar to the theme in "What Alice Forgot:" how much those characters changed through grief, and how they were able to come alive again once they were able to let go of their pain.

3. I am a lot like May in terms of my inability to differentiate my pain from the pain of others. I wrote a blog post about it, in fact. In case you missed it, you can read it here.

4. I saw the movie before I read the book, which I think I prefer. Because the book is always better, so you never think, this book is nothing like the movie! Plus, you already have a picture of what the characters look like if you've seen the movie and don't have to be like, that is not what Lily looked like in my mind!

Noteworthy News:

That's between me and Gina. Although we talked about many of you. And not always in a good way.

Well, I will share Gina's accomplishment of placing 3rd in a bike race in Richmond a few weekends ago, because that's pretty awesome.

And I have a lot of new developments on my blog. I have my own domain, so now the address is normalintraining.com. It has a new look, too. And I finally figured out how to use Twitter. Although I don't look at it much because it's overwhelming.

We talked about "Gone Girl," which is a movie now, but neither of us is dying to see it. But if anyone does, let us know if it's better than the book.

And we ate a lot of fried chicken and waffles. Which was a good call on Gina's part to stay true to the Southern theme. Although I feel kind of sick now.

Next Book:

Gina chose  "The Boy in the Striped Pajamas" because I told her I just bought it on Kindle for like, $5 or something. You can also stream it on Netflix, if you want to cheat. I heard the book and the movie are both excellent. And if you don't like it, guess you better show up next time so you have a vote!