The Fault in Our Stars

Members present:  See above

Venue:  Marie's lovely abode at SML. Menu included sangrias, summer salad with pomegranate dressing, chicken wraps, and potato salad, all freshly made. And Denise brought the cupcakes below for dessert! (Creme Brûlée, Tiramasu, Chocolate, Coconut Lime, Red Velvet, and Wedding cupcakes)

Book Discussion:

We all enjoyed our time with Hazel Grace and Augustus. Many of us thought the book was going to be sappy and superficial, so it was a pleasant surprise to discover that was actually existential and poetic. The title came from Shakespeare's "Julius Caesar," and John Green refers to a lot of poems that I haven't heard since English class. I still don't know what the one about the red wheelbarrow is supposed to mean. "An Imperial Affliction" is not a real book. I looked it up. 

We were all impressed by how mature Augustus and Hazel's love was for one another. I thought it was interesting that Hazel admitted that had they lived a long, normal life together, their love wouldn't have been as special--similar to the affair in Bridges of Madison County (awesome movie, if you haven't seen it!). We had a similar discussion to the one in the book about whether you need pain to experience joy. Some people said yes. Hazel says no: "The Existence of broccoli in no way affects the taste of chocolate." I agree with Hazel, but the reality is, we don't get a choice of one or the other. They still probably would have known joy together had they not been sick, but the cancer certainly intensified their experience of it.

Marie saw the movie and was struck by how much the terminally ill person worries about the well-being of their loved ones. People shared their personal experiences of loved ones who have passed and reflected on how they knew when it was ok to let go. Some of them were watching sporting events on TV with their loved ones at the time. I'm not sure what to make of that.

We liked the parts where Augusts and Grace got to hear each other's eulogies. I thought the scene where Hazel and Isaac were reading their eulogies for Augustus was actually hilarious. I didn't not cry in the book but I hear that the movie is a real tear-jerker, so I'll bring my kleenex.

I read quotes from the book that I enjoyed--some of which are profound but I'm not sure what they mean. The best discussion came from the one where they were writing the ad for the swing set. We all talked about how we used to try to swing all the way around. And, perhaps even more stupidly, we would swing as fast as we could and then jump off, onto the gravel or concrete or some other painful surface. Well, Marie did, at least. I actually wasn't that stupid.

We also talked about how much more freedom we had to run around unaccompanied as kids. Marie was the winner in this category as well, traveling several towns over without her parents' knowledge. I asked everyone if they thought parents were more vigilant today because their kids really are more likely to be kidnapped or because of heightened awareness, fewer kids, change in parenting, etc. We also talked about whether our mothers were motherly and whether they would have wanted to have kids if they were given a choice. Interestingly, people who didn't have motherly moms did not choose to have children of their own.

We didn't have to discuss possible cast members since it's already a movie--a popular movie with good reviews and is reportedly true to the book. I plan on seeing it soon. The only recognizable actress was Laura Dern, who Marie said was very good as Hazel's mom. Isaac was also cuter than he seemed to be in the book, according to Marie. The scene where they throw eggs at his ex's car sounds like it did justice to the description in the book.

We also had a discussion of which books were hard to say good-bye to. This was one of them for most of us. I wish I could be friends with Alice in "What Alice Forgot" and the therapist who has empathy for her stalker in "The Hypnotist's Love Story," both by Liane Moriarty. Denise liked the couple in "Me Before You." Marie really liked the beekeepers in "The Secret Life of Bees," so we chose that book for our next meeting so that Marie can spent time with them again.

Noteworthy News:

Denise told us all about her escapades in the Honduras. Great place for scuba diving and snorkeling, but apparently the food isn't that great. 

Annette told us about how she fulfilled her prediction that she would meet Brad Gilbert when she went to California last week. Marie and I made a similar declaration about getting Federer's picture at Cincy this year, and Annette was giving us some inspirational advice. Dream big or aim high or something. I can't remember exactly what it was. But Marie sees Federer every time she goes, so I'm liking our chances.

Gina is soon to be the grandmother of a baby girl. Lauren already has her name picked out but I forgot what it was. Karen is going to be an aunt to a baby girl, as well.

I got on my soap box and went off about the people who do and do not deserve to be tipped, in my opinion. I apologize if I seemed self-righteous or otherwise offensive. After writing my blog post on Mental Hygiene, I've become acutely paranoid about sneezing on people.

Surprisingly, we did not talk that much about tennis or any of you, although there has been some discussion of whether there needs to be a minimum attendance policy to remain in the book club, just so you know. I think at minimum you have to participate by commenting on the blog post about the meeting if you did not attend. No final decisions have been made at this time.

I'll let Marie decide what to do for the venue for "The Secret Life of Bees."  Which is also a movie, in case anyone wants to cheat. Annette might be interested in hosting our next meeting at Legoland in Florida. 

The Book Thief

Members Present:  See above

Venue:  Terrie's lovely home in Salem.  All German food--including Marie's German fried apples.  One of our best meals ever! Everything was fantastic!

Book Discussion:

- The movie is great and seems to follow the book closely, although no one read the book and saw the movie.  But I'm definitely going to watch it!

- We tried to do the discussion questions but they were boring and too much like English class.  So we basically just reviewed the book for everyone.  No casting discussions because it's already a movie. Marie did not finish it because she was grinding her teeth at night, worrying that something bad was going to happen.  Most of us thought it was told in a fairly light way, given that it was about the Holocaust and it was narrated by Death.

- I swear we talked about the book for about 30 minutes but I can't remember anything particularly profound that was said about it, other than everyone thought it was a good book.  If you are interested in other books about the Holocaust, ask Cindi for a recommendation.

- I wrote a blog post on the significance of words in the Book Thief on my Normal in Training blog.  Not really fitting for the kind of discussions we have, but I highly recommend that you check it out and add to my blog stats!

- Marie is reading some book on US history that may help us find out if parents really didn't stop for their kids when they fell out of the covered wagon.  Stay tuned!

- We did learn that there is a book club at Smith Mountain Lake that is even more remedial than ours. People can read whatever book they want and everyone goes around the room, taking turns talking about their book.  Kind of like Show and Tell.  And they bring the books and exchange them.  We were wondering how that works out since every meeting they would be talking about the same books.  But Marie said they're old so they don't remember what happened in the last meeting.

Noteworthy News:

- Grandbaby updates:  Terrie is going to be a grandmother!  Lauren is having a girl!  We saw the 3D picture of her, and it's a little scary. Also more cute pictures of Teri's granddaughter.  Lots of reminiscing about pregnancy, sleepless nights, and panic when their children first slept through the night.  And about how it's better to wait and take baby pictures until after their heads lose their cone shape.

- Tennis gossip:  Most of us are annoyed that the majority of the captains voted for 8 matches over 12. We speculated on why Jennifer Frye always wants fewer matches, since she lives for tennis.   Also more griping about Steve being a captain.  We all think that's going to lead to more than average drama. Teri is fully integrated into the tennis community in Columbia and is currently playing 3 different leagues.  Several of us are going to Wintergreen tomorrow to sharpen our killer instincts, so watch out if you see us on the court!

- Pet update:  Terrie's dog ate Marie's bratwurst.  Marie changed her cat's name to Ulysses after some cat in some obscure movie.

Hmmm.  It doesn't seem like we talked about that much, but we were there for 3 hours.  I guess we mainly just enjoyed each other's company!

Next book:  The Fault in Our Stars, by John Green.  Sounds similar to Me Before You, which we all loved.  It has also been made into a movie, in case you want to take the short cut.  Marie volunteered to host, and we will schedule it on a day that Teri can make it!

Half Broke Horses Meeting

January 28, 2014

Book Club members present:  Me, Gina, Marie, Teri, Terrie, Cindi, Annette, Lauren.  A great showing given the snowy weather!  But well worth it to get to see Teri and eat Gina's cooking!

Venue:  Gina's lovely home in Boones Mill.  Marie also made a 5 layer red velvet cake that was actually 3 layers but still a very big cake.  And I think other people brought stuff but it took me so long to get there that I don't know who brought what. 

Noteworthy news:

- Baby news:  Lauren is pregnant!  Teri's daughter is due in 4 weeks!  Teri made baby sock cupcakes and a diaper cake!  And she learned baby sign language!  And Terrie made up some new baby sign language  words, which will be demonstrated in an upcoming Youtube video!  Expect it to go viral!  We also discussed the possibility that all of the crazy restrictions about what you can and cannot eat while pregnant could be contributing to the rise in peanut and gluten allergies.  Many book members had mothers who drank and/or smoked while pregnant and turned out relatively normal. 

- Latest gossip:  Steve has a 4.0 women's team so we trashed talked about him some.  We updated everyone on who is playing what team for 7.0 mixed, 8.0 mixed, 18 and over women 3.5 and 4.0, 40 and over women 3.5 and 4.0, 7.5 combo, and projected teams for 2015. No verbal commitments or written contracts were made at this time for next year's teams.   Ladder matches and weekly court times were also discussed.  Rumor has it that Charlie is putting in a new ceiling at NDor.  No more asbestos!  Terrie and Gina are contemplating offering Charlie a barter exchange:  cleaning/decorating for free court time.  He'd be a fool to pass that deal up.

- Writer's update:  Annette went to a writer's conference and is contemplating what her first writing project will be.  I am still writing my blog but have attracted a few stalkers, some of whom make jokes about wanting to kill people as a way to find a wife.  Since most of you have Google + accounts, you can read the comment first-hand under the post In Need.

- Relationship statuses:  Brian finally broke up with his girlfriend!  And he got into med school!  I forgot to tell everyone but I have a gay boyfriend!  You can see his comments under almost anything I post on FB these days.  He's great for intellectual conversation but told me that he did not believe in Valentine's Day and he would tell me the truth if he thought my outfit made me look fat, so we may be breaking up soon.

- Job updates:  Marie is retiring in May and I'm making jewelry again. So I'm hiring Marie to run my jewelry business.  I didn't tell her this but instead of paying her, she can have all the jewelry she wants for free.  This will give her something to do just in case she gets sick of spending more time with Mark.

Book Club Discussion:

We didn't do a synopsis of the book so I think everyone read at least some of it except Lauren.  But this was her first meeting and she's pregnant, so she was given a light punishment of having to sit at a separate table from the rest of us while we discussed the book.

While we all thought Lily was an interesting character, most of us liked Glass Castles better. So we basically talked about Glass Castles again and how crazy Janette Wells' parents are.  We could find some personality traits that were passed down from generation to generation to explain some of the craziness  (e.g., Lily's mom with a fainting couch in a mud hut, Lily's dad writing all those crazy letters and spelling things phonetically, Lily's dad using the money for Lily's education on great danes).  But for the most part, Lily's story did not help us to understand what was wrong with her parents.

I guess we didn't think that the book would make a good movie because once again, there was no discussion of potential casting choices.  We did discuss some of the movies nominated for Oscars.  And Teri and I loved Frozen.  Annette tried to make a compelling argument for Her, but it just sounds too creepy for most of us.

Finally, our next book will be The Book Thief, which is also a movie.  By the time we have our next meeting, it might be out on DVD.  If so, we thought we'd watch it during our next meeting. 

While I have tried to be as accurate as possible, please feel free to make any corrections to the minutes.

Half Broke Horses

I really liked the book, although at the beginning and the end of it I was getting kind of restless and wanted it to be over.  I was looking at the things I highlighted to remind myself of the things that struck me the most, so here is my list:

1.  I really liked the theme of freedom/God's will.  I think I believe what she believes:  that God gives us choices, which means we can make bad choices if we want to, and sometimes when we ask for something the answer is no.  But that doesn't mean that He's not there, trying to help us out and make the right decisions.  It's just that ultimately, it's up to us to decide.

I loved the quote about the animals--how they're always trying to get free but they don't know what to do with their freedom when they have it and sometimes they end up getting killed.  I think guys are that way, too.  I know Jamie also wanted to break up and wanted his freedom, and I suspect he will not fare well, but I'm trying not to get involved again because it's too much work trying to help him and he's not really able to help me.  I feel bad, but I do believe that God is trying to help him, and if he doesn't listen, I guess that's his choice.

I also thought the relationship between Lily and Rosemary was interesting.  Although I am not a parent, I can appreciate how hard it must be to want your children to make good choices and not have a hard life.  I know many of you read "Glass Castles" because it's one of our book club books, and at the end of the book her mom and dad were squatters.  That's not what you hope that your children's life will be like.  I guess she didn't care since that's how she was living, and in the book it was pretty clear that she knew it might be like that if she married Rex but didn't care, either.  But then it didn't just affect her.  It also affected her children, and it wasn't so great for the author.  But then again, she became a famous writer and journalist, so I guess things turned out OK for her in the end.

I also thought it was interesting that, despite Lily's attempts to control everything and make wise choices, she married that loser guy, and it was clear from the beginning that he was a loser.  It proves my theory that women can be together in every aspect of their lives but still make bad choices in relationships.  Not sure why being smart doesn't help, but from counseling and personal experience I can tell you that it doesn't.  I think she was grieving over her friend and needed someone to help her with it.  We do need to be around other people during periods of grief.  Either that or be on antidepressants.  There's actually research supporting both of those statements.

Finally, I liked what she said about life's adventures:  you will encounter adventures whether you want to or not, so you don't have to try to make things harder for yourself.  I tell clients this about suffering, too, and it comes straight from Buddhism:  life is full of suffering that we can't control.  But we can at least prevent the suffering we can control--how we treat ourselves and others, the approach we take towards living. 

Actually, Freud said this, too.  He said that at best, we could hope to reduce our suffering to the psychopathology of every day living.  People thought that was a negative view of life, but I don't think it's actually any different than what Buddha said.  But I guess since Freud said a lot of crazy things and was crazy himself, it's easy to interpret that statement more negatively than what I think he intended.

Now that I'm writing all this out, I realize that all of  my comments are about free will.  I wouldn't have realized that this is what struck me the most about the book without this blog!  I encourage all of you to write your thoughts if you've finished the book; otherwise you'll forget them by the time we meet!

P.S.  I just thought of something else.  I was thinking about how at the end of the book Jeannette Wells said she wanted to write a book about her mom but her mom told her that her grandmother was the interesting person.  I was thinking about how in Tender at the Bone I thought Reichl's mom would probably be upset about how she was portrayed.  I had thought the same thing about Well's parents after reading Glass Castles.  But then here is Wells, wanting to tell her mom's story. 

And her mom Rosemary, who didn't seem to have a great relationship with her mom, Lily, also wanted her mom's story to be told.  Maybe this means that, despite the negative things that the aitjprs talked about in their upbringing, in the end they tried to have compassion for their mom's story and why she was the way she was.  And maybe that's really what most writing is about. 

Reading List

Add books here that you've read between meetings that might be of interest to others!  Here are mine:

The Hypnotist's Love Story - Liane Moriarty

*What Alice Forgot - Liane Moriarty

Disaster Preparedness - Heather Havrilesky

Funny in Farsi - Firoozeh Dumas

*Eat, Pray, Love - Elizabeth Gilbert

*Unwind - Neal Shusterman

*Art of Racing in the Rain - Garth Stein

*A Thousand Splendid Suns - Khaled Housseini

*Change of Heart - Jodi Picoult

* Book Club books

Frequently Asked Questions

An interview with Christy, founder of The Remedial Book Club.


Q:  How did the Remedial Book Club get started?

A:  I was telling some of my tennis friends about how my mom was mentioned in the book Big Stone Gap (which is being turned into a movie right now!) and a lot of us read so we decided to form a book club and that this would be our first book.

Q:  Why is it remedial?

A:  Unlike most groups that aim to meet once a month, we are lucky to read a book once every two months.  And completing--or even reading--the book is not a requirement for participation.   And attendance is often a fairly low.

Also, we spend a lot more time gossiping about tennis people than we do talking about the book, although we were approaching a ratio of 50:50 until our meeting tonight.  In all fairness, though, the host's daughter got sick and she had to leave, so this meeting is an outlier.  Plus we also spend a lot of time catching up with each other's lives, which is really the most important thing.

Our discussions also tend to be more superficial.  We talk a lot more about tangentially related movies and who would play the characters in the movie version of the book (great actors selected for Big Stone Gap!).  However, we have several members who read a lot, so there's always discussion about interesting books that may or may not be related to the topic of book club.

Finally, the choice of venue is just as important as the book selected.  Our favorite venue was Teri's house because she cooked most of the food and there was space to do Karaoke or Just Dance or Wii.  We used to try to pick restaurants that fit the theme of the book, but our restaurant choices are pretty limited.  Plus when you read something like "Water for Elephants," it's hard to pick a place with circus food.

Q:  How do you choose your members?

A:  We usually extend an invitation to anyone who expresses interest in joining.  Some members have dropped out because of lack of participation.  Only two members from the original book club remain--Norma and myself.

Q:  How do you choose the books?

A:  Every meeting we choose a host for the next book--usually a new member to solidify their commitment to the group.  She chooses the book, organizes the meeting time, and chooses the venue. She is loosely responsible for leading the discussion of the book, usually by saying something like, hey we should probably talk some about the book now.

Q:  Why did you create a blog for the book club?

A:  Honestly, it's because I wanted to write a book about our club, and I thought it would be easier to develop material for it this way.  Plus it's a way for people who missed the meeting to participate in the discussion.  This is our first time trying it.  If I'm the only one who posts anything that's fine.  I like to do most of the talking anyway.

I will say that Marie really likes the idea and we have already begun discussions about who will play us when the book gets turned into a movie.

The Paris Wife Meeting

July 2013

Host:  Annette

Location: Wildflour