Wings of Time: Breaking Darkness

Book: Wings of Time: Breaking Darkness - SD Barron

Members Present: Karin, Sharon, Christy, Lorelei, Susan, Marie

Venue: Shakers

Discussion Highlights:

We didn't discuss the book much, but we did discuss my blog on soulmates, which referenced the book. And we came up with questions for the author. Unfortunately, the most popular question was, What was the book about? Because we are a remedial book club, after all. Most of us gave it 4 stars. Sharon wouldn't commit, but I'm guessing hers was around 3 stars.

We did, however, talk about tennis, my mental breakdown, the movies that won Oscars last year, the importance of strength training, rest, and avoiding running in old age, and the memoir Educated in much more detail. So expect that book to be on the list some time this year. But you might not want to read it too soon, because by the time we get to it you might forget what it's about.

Next Book:

Our next book will be "The Winner," by David Baldacci. Marie will host.

The Day the World Came to Town

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Book: The Day the World Came to Town - Jim Defede

Members present: Marie, Sharon, Christy, Gina, Lorelei, Karin

Venue: Rodeo Grande

Discussion: Short, positive, and currently a musical on Broadway

Big Little Lies

Big Little Lies:  Liane Moriarty

Members Present:  Sue, Lorelei, Christy

Venue:  Abuelo's

Discussion Highlights:

Even though we had a small showing tonight, I still say with confidence that this is one of the best books we've read. I love the author, and "What Alice Forgot" is still my favorite book. Sue liked the book so much she is now reading "The Husband's Secret." Moriarty does such a great job of developing her characters and making them likable--except Perry. She can take a serious subject like violence against women and describe the entire spectrum of offenses, capture all the nuances and controversies in each one. Yet her stories are still also light and funny. Sue said she wanted to find out what happened but didn't want to keep reading because she didn't want the book to end. This was actually my 2nd time reading it, and even though I recognized every line, I couldn't remember what happens next, so it was just as entertaining the 2nd time around. Moriary has another book coming out later this year, and I've already pre-ordered it! If you haven't read this one, I highly recommend it. Watching the HBO series does not do it justice.

Next Book:

Our next book is "The Day the World Came to Town" by Jim Defede. Sue will be hosting. Aim to meet by end of August. Until then, happy reading!

Still Me

Book: Still Me - Jojo Moyes

Members Present: Sharon, Cindi, Christy, Lorelei

Venue: Veranda Bistro

Discussion Highlights:

Only half the people read the book, and we didn't want to ruin it for the other 2, so we talked about it  in general terms. For those of you who aren't familiar with the series, the first book in the series was Me Before You--Moyes most famous book, and one of our all-time favorites. While funny and moving, it is also bittersweet, and a happy ending seems unlikely from the start, given that it begins with an accident that leaves Will Traynor as a quadriplegic and only agreeing to live 6 more months. Still, Louisa is adorable and immensely likable, and their love story is moving. The movie follows the book closely and is also great.

After You was pretty dark--primarily about grieving and finding love again. Not nearly as funny, and Louisa doesn't have the spark she had in the first book. While it does have a happy ending, I wasn't left feeling very happy after reading it. If it were a movie, it would be pretty depressing.

Unlike the other 2 books, Still Me, is a straightforward, light, happy read. Perfect for summer reading! Louisa is in full form--sweet, loving, funny, quirky. All of the other characters are interesting, as well. While you know there is going to be a happy ending, there are enough twists and turns to avoid a conversation of what happens so that the others could enjoy the book. If you read the first one but not the 2nd, you could easily skip the second and go to this one and not miss a lot.

Sharon and I have read Moyes' The Girl You Left Behind, which is a historical novel very different from this series but is also great, if you're looking for another good read.

Lots of updates on everyone's struggle with their dependents--including me! Parenting advice welcome.

Next Book:

Our next book will be Big Little Lies, by Liane Moriarty. Another author who is a book club favorite. She also wrote What Alice Forgot--my personal favorite--and The Hypnotist's Love Story. The book is also a mini-series. Lorelei will be hosting. We'll aim for July.

Until we meet again, happy reading!

Before We Were Yours

Book: Before We Were Yours - Lisa Wingate

Members Present: Denise, Linda, Marie, Karin, Christy

Venue: Carrabba's

Discussion Highlights:

Many of us had not been to book club in a while, so we spent a lot of time catching up on life, tennis, and gossip. Along those lines, Denise got a new job, I went to Indian Wells with Karen Marchand, and Marie and I are hitting the gym and will see who can lift the most at the end of the summer. Bought 25 lb dumbbells after our meeting!

As for the book, if you haven't read it, it's a thumbs up from the group. It is based on a true story of an orphanage in Tennessee in the 30's owned by Georgia Tann, who got away with kidnapping/stealing poor kids and selling them to rich and famous people looking to adopt. Her treatment of the kids was atrocious, and she had politicians, judges, police, and tons of other high profile people in her pocket so she essentially got away with murder until the 50's, when she died of cancer. Even then, adoption records were sealed until the 90's because many of the adoptive parents were politicians. The last chapter where Wingate talks about some of the history of the orphanage is worth the read alone.

In the novel there are 2 alternating stories--one of Rill and her 4 siblings, poor kids who lived on the river and were kidnapped in broad daylight by the police, after their parents are tricked into signing them off to the orphanage. The other story is about Avery, who is visiting her parents in Tennessee and being groomed for a possible senate seat that her ailing dad currently occupies. She meets the elderly Rill--now named May--on a PR visit to a nursing home and finds out that she is somehow related to her grandmother and wants to find out how. Both stories are highly entertaining, and you don't know how they are going to come together until the very end.

The book is a quick read, and although the treatment of the children in the orphanage is shocking, there are no graphic details or traumatic accounts, so even if you don't like reading negative stuff (e.g., Marie), you'll still love it. I didn't have to take a single Ativan :).

Next Book:

Our next book is "Still Me," by Jojo Moyes. This is part 3 of the series that began with "Me Before You," our favorite book. It should be a quick read, so we'll aim for end of April to stay on track.

I Loved My Life

Book: I Liked My Life - Abby Fabiaschi

Members present: Terrie, Cindi, Sharon, Linda, Sylvia

Venue: Sylvia's home. And Tacos! I love tacos :(.

Discussion highlights:

I wasn't there again, which is a record for me. My job is killing me. Not enough time for socialization, tennis, and working out! I will have to give a prize out to the person who makes the most meetings in 2018 to motivate me to push through. Although that's how I got in trouble in the first place.

Thanks to Terrie for sending the pic and the discussion highlights! Here are her comments:

For those who have not read the book - our suggestion is go for it. On a scale of 1-5, we all gave it a 4+

We did discuss the book Christy (and we missed our leader). Cindi brought us some questions. For those who missed think about the different relationships and which do you identify with in your own life? Did Eve and Brady’s relationship change at the same moment? Did you see how Maddie died coming? Did you like how 10 years closed the story? 

This was Abby F. First book and her second will be coming out this winter. Most likely a book club read.

Sue also took the time to type out Maddy's truths, so for those of you who didn't read the book (although I recommend that you do), here are some words of wisdom to ponder:

Make room for who you are by knowing who you’re not. Smile all the time, at everyone, without exception: when you’re happy it will be contagious, and when you’re angry it will drive the person you’re mad at bonkers. Blow-dry before lipstick. Counters before sweeping. Water before dinner. To hell with what everyone thinks about your life, but you should know what you think about it. Don’t’ stay out past one a.m.—nobody is proud of the stories born later than that. Plans contingent on perfection fail. It’s dangerous to fight who you are. The stupidest thing you can do is believe your own bullshit, but you probably will every once in a while. Flowery perfume smells like a cover-up. Don’t have a room your kids can’t play in or a couch your kids can’t sit on; it’s their house too. If you don’t know what to say, say, “I don’t know what to say.” If you mess up, say, “I messed up.” If you need help, say, “I need help.” Never count on any one thing. Don’t confuse wanting to have sex and rent movies with someone for wanting to marry him. Never buy button-fly jeans---they aren’t flattering on anyone ever. Practice love, compassion, and forgiveness. Try not to speak consecutively for more than two minutes; it’s hard to be a good listener longer than that. It’s good to have one friend who still smokes a lot of pot. It’s important to speak up even if no one will stand behind you. A home is something you create. Gatorade and greasy food cure hangovers. The impression you have of someone is most likely the impression they have of you (that’s why I’m so self-conscious around annoying people). Give yourself a break, but not a free pass. Never become a prize, possession, puppet, or toy---it’s no fun hanging on someone’s wall for any substantial amount of time. When someone gives you the creeps, don’t worry about their feelings or apologize, just get the hell away. Constantly earn the hearts of your friends and family, and expect them to earn yours back. Ask questions. Don’t give out answers you don’t have. Think before you speak. Sometimes you’ll lie, but have a person who knows both your truths and the lies you’ve told; pick someone who won’t judge you. Don’t give up on reading before you find a favorite book, and even then, I don’t recommend it. At the end of each day, acknowledge the things you wish you’d done differently so that tomorrow you will. We’re given the gift of life with the consequences of death.

Next book:

Our next book will be Before We Were Yours, by Lisa Wingate. Sylvia or Cindi will be hosting. Very generous of you to do 2 in a row, Sylvia! You may get Best New Member! I love awards. In case you've already read it or finish the book quickly, others mentioned were Winter Garden and Between Friends.

Until February, happy reading!

Behind Closed Doors

Book: Behind Closed Doors

Members present: Sylvia (new member!), Denise, Cindi, Annette, Sharon, Sue, Lorelei, Tom, Karin

Venue: Denise's house (Venue of the Year!)

Discussion Highlights:

I wasn't there, but according to Lorelei, Cindi brought book club questions, so the meeting was conducted like a normal Book Club. Tom, special guest and chef, even chimed in. A good time was had by all.

I'm guessing people talked about me, because I was at home having a nervous breakdown since I had all these emergencies working into my schedule that day. But that's OK. That's the rule.

Next Book:

Sharon informed me that the next book will be hosted by Sylvia Dill, as is customary with new members. It is I Liked My Life, by Abby Fabiaschi. We will aim for January. Thanks for a great year of reading, discussion, gossip, and eating! And we met our goal of 6 books this year. Yay!

Linda's chocolate cake:

Ingredients:
1 stick margarine
1 cup Crisco
1 cup water
4 Tbsp cocoa
2 cups sugar
2 eggs
1 tsp baking soda
1 half cup buttermilk

Combine first 4 ingredients in a saucepan and bring it to a boil.  Pour over combined flour and sugar.  Add eggs, buttermilk and baking soda.  Mix all well.  Pour into greased and floured 13" x 9" pan.   Bake at 350 degrees for 35 to 45 minutes (or until cake tests done with a toothpick)  Pour icing over hot cake.

Sharon's cranberry brie bites:

Frozen mini fillo dough cups

1 wheel of brie

I used cranberry celebration from Kroger (in deli section)

Put a small piece of brie in each cup and bake at 350 for @ 20 minutes or until brie is melted.  Top each cup with a small amount of cranberry

The Couple Next Door

Book: The Couple Next Door - Shari Lapena

Members Present: Sue, Denise, Sharon, Christy

Venue: Alejandro's

Discussion highlights:

If you read the book, then you know that there isn't that much to discuss. This was Lapena's first book. She was a lawyer, so her info about a criminal investigation was probably accurate, but we all agreed it wasn't particularly well-written and wondered how it was possible that she could get a book deal with a major publishing company and that this book could be on the best seller's list. I have researched publishing my own blog, and while I haven't tried to do so, hearing how unlikely it would be to get published has been enough to make me give up. Sharon knows someone who published a book and only made about $4000 total. So if you want to publish a book, you should probably do it for other reasons than getting rich.

The story, however, was interesting and not predictable. It was also a quick read. But there wasn't much character development, and I thought it read like a draft of a paper that someone would present in a creative writing class. Compared to similar books that we've read--Gone Girl, Girl on a Train--this one was probably the worst, but still worth reading to find out what happens.

We did not discuss Small Great Things, other than to say it was a great book. I think that it would be more useful to make this book mandatory reading than to have any kind of diversity training, because she does a much better job of representing many viewpoints on the racism spectrum than any educational program I've been a part of. So if you haven't read either, I would read this one. Or anything by Jodi Picoult.

We didn't talk about any of you, so you can all safely return to the next meeting.

Next book:

Denise was prepared and ready to host the next book club. W we will be reading Behind Closed Doors, by B.A. Paris. It is of the same genre of The Couple Next Door, but much better. At least that's what Sharon said, because she's already read it. So if you have recommendations for her of what she can read, let her know. We are shooting for end of November/beginning of December for our next meeting.

A Man Called Ove

Book: A Man Called Ove -  Fredrik Backman

Members present: Cindi, Linda, Terrie, Christy, Karin

Venue: Terrie's lovely abode

Discussion highlights:

We had a small but talkative group for our meeting, which adjourned at 11:30 pm! Excellent food, great conversation, and great venue!

We had a high completion rate for the book--4 out of 5 of the members present finished it, and 3 of the 4 who read it also watched the movie. If you haven't done either, I strongly recommend that you do both. We all agreed that it is up there with our favorite books of all time. It is a quick read, and some people chose to finish it in one day, while others tried to make it last as long as possible. Sort of like the opposite of the ripping off the Band Aid thing. I assume that the book was originally not written in English, which is surprising because it is very well-written. It has a unique voice, and I suspect that's part of the appeal. The chapters are short and each chapter has a memorable anecdote. Even though the story sounds like it's going to be a real downer, since it starts with Ove deciding to kill himself, and a lot of sad, tragic things do happen, but somehow the overall tone of the book is light and funny. Laugh out loud hilarious, in fact. Maybe it's because each chapter has a title and a drawing. How tragic can a book be that has a drawings in it?

Plus his suicide attempts were foiled by people who needed his help. Because they needed rides to hospitals after their husband fell off a ladder while trying to open a window from the outside. (Ove totally knew that was going to happen and didn't stop him so it's only fair that he had to take them to the hospital). Or because someone had fallen on the train tracks before he got a chance to jump. Or because a gay guy who was disowned after he came out to his dad needed a place to stay. Cindi described Ove as being someone who put up a front that he wasn't a caring guy, and everyone went along with it to humor him, but they knew he had a big heart. Too big, unfortunately.

This is not one of those times where you would want to cheat and see the movie instead of reading the book because I thought the tone of the book was lost in the movie, even though I thought the movie was very good. It has subtitles, just as a forewarning. And Ove's name isn't pronounced the way you were probably saying it in your head while you were reading. It took a while for Karin to realize they were even saying his name, because it does sort of sound like an expression, like hey.

Cindi pointed out that Sweden was a socialist country, which admittedly, I did not know, and all of the red tape and complaints about the white shirts refers to Ove's anger at the government for all of the real and perceived injustices he suffered. Taking away his house. The lack of compensation for the bus accident. The lack of wheelchair accommodations. Trying to put Rune away from his wife. (But Ove got the white shirts back on that one! Ha ha!)

I was annoyed that they made up some of the dialogue, because there's plenty of great dialogue in the book that they cut out. And the lines they made up were not of the same quality. But some of the details in the movie that they elaborated on were well done--like the scene where he got laid off and they gave him a shovel as a retirement gift. The bus accident scene was also very good in that it really highlighted how tragic it was. And his wife was even lovelier in the movie than she sounded in the book.

We also had a chance to talk about our last book, When Breath Becomes Air. One of the advantages of a smaller group and intimate venue. Although I like it when everyone shows up and we eat out, too.

Next book:

Our next book will be The Couple Next Door, by Shari Lapeña. Since co-hosting went so well this time, thanks to Terrie, we will do the same thing for our July meeting. Linda has chosen the book and will set the date, Cindi will bring in some traditional book club info to raise us even further above the remedial status, and Terrie has agreed to provide her home again and do the pot luck details. We are aiming for the last week of July.

Until then, happy reading!

When Breath Becomes Air

Book: When Breath Becomes Air - Paul Kalanithi

Members present: Annette, Shea, Karin, Sue, Christy, Marie, Denise, Sharon, Gina, Lorelei, Terrie

Venue: Mellow Mushroom

Discussion Highlights:

Admittedly, it was difficult to have a proper discussion because it's really loud in Mellow Mushroom. And there were so many members present--which is a good thing!--that you could only hear the people who were sitting next to you. But we did get a little discussion in. All of the people on my end of the table liked the book. We all thought he was brilliant. Some of us thought it was sad and others didn't, which was surprising to me. It's true that his writing style was not that emotional. And I guess if you have to die, it's good to know that you lived your life as purposefully as you could, that you were surrounded by your loved ones, and that your mental facilities were in tact. But I still thought it was sad. Sharon's argument was that he lived a very full life in a short amount of time.

We also discussed how sad it was that he didn't get to finish the book, which he really wanted to do. I can imagine him writing furiously in between surgeries and treatments and playing with his baby. But at least the last line he wrote was about how much joy his daughter brought to his life.

We also talked about tennis and finally had some good gossip to share. But if you weren't there, you miss out on the good stuff!

Next Book:

Our next book will be "A Man Called Ove," by Fredrik Backman, and I will be the host. I have to say, I didn't have high expectations when I started the book, but I liked it so much after the first few chapters that I would only read a chapter a night so that I could savor it for as long as possible. However, you could finish it pretty quickly if you're more of a binge reader. I will aim for the end of May for our next meeting.

White Picket Fences

Book:  White Picket Fences - Susan Meissner

Members Present:  Sue, Lorelei, Shea, Sharon, Christy, Linda

Venue: Lenore's

Discussion Highlights:

We were down to 50% in terms of readers who had finished the book, so we spent most of the time giving a detailed summary. It was a quick and easy read. Most people's favorite part was the story of the two men in the Holocaust, which was the central story that pulled together all of the subplots. It was the least depressing book about the Holocaust that we have read and was unique in terms of depicting how it all started, when Hitler invaded Poland. Some of us did not see why it was such a big deal to hide the story about the fire, and I didn't think that it would have been that traumatizing had it been Chase who started the fire since he was four years old. But Linda thought that was a realistic possibility, and I guess people do feel guilty about stuff that isn't their fault all the time. I would say the moral of the story is that it's better to reveal your deep, dark secrets sooner rather than later, before it ruins your marriage and sets your house on fire. All the more reason I have a job, I guess!

We spent a lot of time talking about food and restaurants downtown. If you need a recommendation, ask Shea.

Also, I encourage all of you to vote for me for Captain of the Year next year for the Mid-Atlantic, because I like to win everything! I need to captain 5 more teams this year, because last year's winner had 13 teams. Maybe I should just be co-captain on everyone else's team.

There was also a discussion about pickle ball, because Sharon sent a picture about the length of the kitchen this morning to the group, but I missed that part.

Next Book:

Sharon has agreed to host our next book club meeting. The book is "When Breath Becomes Air," by Paul Kalanithi. Another quick read, so we will aim for April.

Until then, happy reading!

Truevine

Book: Truevine - Beth Macy

Members Present: Denise, Cindi, Sue, Marie, Terrie, Sharon, Shea

Venue: Denise's lovely abode


Discussion Highlights:

Truevine by Beth Macy was the book for our gathering on Jan 31. Denise was our hostess and Tom her husband cooked delicious chicken and joined us for dinner. Members present were Denise, Sharon, Shea, Cindi, Terrie and Marie. First time book clubber Sue Lunsford came after tennis in time for dessert.  Unfortunately Gina Keller had to cancel due to a possible ACL injury from tennis but luckily she was able to make the Tres Leches cake!! Get better soon Gina!

Denise, Sharon, Shea and Marie (almost) read the book. Denise really liked the book and we all agreed that it was an interesting story. Most of us were in agreement that the story jumped all over the place and that the writing was not the best. Beth Macy is a journalist and the book was written as such and the story didn’t flow. We also liked all the references to areas we were all familiar with in the Roanoke area.  For those of you who didn’t read the book here is a brief summary ….

The true story of two African-American brothers who were kidnapped and displayed as circus freaks, and whose mother endured a 28-year struggle to get them back.

The year was 1899 and the place a sweltering tobacco farm in the Jim Crow South town of Truevine, Virginia. George and Willie Muse were two little boys born to a sharecropper family. One day a white man offered them a piece of candy, setting off events that would take them around the world and change their lives forever. 

Captured into the circus, the Muse brothers performed for royalty at Buckingham Palace and headlined over a dozen sold-out shows at New York's Madison Square Garden. They were global superstars in a pre-broadcast era. But the very root of their success was in the color of their skin and in the outrageous caricatures they were forced to assume: supposed cannibals, sheep-headed freaks, even "Ambassadors from Mars." Back home, their mother never accepted that they were "gone" and spent 28 years trying to get them back.

We also discussed that back in the early 1900’s blacks were not treated very well so we felt that the brothers actually had a better life than what they would have had in Truevine and all the freaks living together were like family where no one judged them. This was somewhat proven in the book when the mother found the brothers and brought them home they eventually went back to the circus life.At the end of book discussion we were all happy with the recent news that the Ringling Bros.Circus would be closing down.   

Next Book:

We saw fitting that the next book be chosen by our newbie Sue. She chose White Picket Fences by Susan Meissner. Hopefully we can keep our streak going and read one book a month!! The end of Feb is our goal for the next book club meeting. Thanks again to Denise for hosting!! And thanks, Sharon for taking minutes at the meeting! If you talked about me, you don't have to tell me what you said since I wasn't there, and that's the rule :).

Queen of the Court

Book: Queen of the Court - Melanie Howard, Andrea Leidolf

Members present: Lorelei, Linda, Karin, Christy, Cindi, Marie, Denise, Shea

Venue: Abuelo's

Discussion Highlights

The book is a quick, entertaining read. Shea and I had trouble getting into it but it's worth finishing, and it doesn't take that long to read. We couldn't think of many people who were similar to the characters except for one Hungarian player that we all know and love, although Shea said  this was a realistic portrayal of the types of women who played in the country club scene at Va Beach.

The book was interesting from a local perspective in that both authors graduated from UVA and the book was set in NOVA, where tennis players really are as intense as crazy as they were in the book. They also played at River's Edge, which seems like more than a coincidence.

Marie thought there were too many characters and I thought that some of them had such superficial development that I couldn't even remember who they were and had to look them up. Like Sean, Karen's future boyfriend. And Quinn, Bethany's twin. And it took forever for me to get a sense of what Karen was like.

Next Book

Denise has generously volunteered to be our next host. The book is Truevine, by Beth Macy. It's written by a local author, so maybe we can have her as a guest at our next meeting if we're really ambitious. If we do get her, we'll have to be like a real book club and prepare questions and everyone who attends will have to read the book. But we made our goal of 6 books this year, so who knows what we're capable of in the new year? We'll meet again in January, so you may want to consider asking for the book as a stocking stuffer this holiday.

For the Rest of Her Life

Book: For the Rest of her Life - Laura Moriarty

Members present: Christy, Linda, Karin, Sharon

Venue: Veranda Bistro

Discussion highlights:

Everyone liked the book, but everyone (except me) liked "Defending Jacob" better. Linda felt sorry for Leigh because of her insecurity as a parent as a result of her mother abandoning her at 16. Sharon pointed out that the mother seemed envious of her daughter--how easy her life was, her popularity, her confidence. I thought it was interesting that the mother and daughter both perceived the other person as being critical of them when in reality both of them wanted to be loved by the other. I particularly liked the line where the daughter tells her mom that if she had known that if killing someone would make her mom like her she would have done it a long time ago. Karin added that many relationships are ultimately destroyed because people don't communicate how they really feel.

We also discussed the different responses for what the consequences should be for the daughter. That dad wanted her to go through it with as few consequences as possible so that she could start college and play soccer. The mother wanted her to suffer some consequence which seemed to border on wanting her daughter to be punished. Linda pointed out that this made the dad question whether she wanted the best for her daughter. We discussed how, although the daughter felt the same way as the mother, the mother seemed oblivious of this because she was so focused on the daughter liked her. We all felt that her decision not to postpone college was a good one because it would have been difficult to focus on the typical transitional struggles when you've gone through something traumatic.

Linda brought up Leigh's relationship with her own mother--particularly her decision to abandon her at 16 because she never had a life of her own. How the daughter was so hungry for love that she liked the attention from sketchy guys. I brought up how she was so desperate for help that she slept with someone to get him to help her move her bed. Sharon brought up how she tried to convey an air of confidence about this, even though this was her first sexual experience and she was obviously vulnerable to sexual exploitation. We discussed her conversation with her daughter about sex and how it revealed the mom's own insecurities and her daughter's confidence in herself. Sharon thought the daughter might have been lying about how secure she felt, but I thought the daughter was surprisingly emotionally mature for her age and probably did feel like she wouldn't have sex unless she wanted to, which made the mom feel inferior.

We also discussed the difference between Leigh and her sister Pam's response to their mother's "parenting." Although Leigh's life turned out well, she struggled with self-confidence and was sensitive to rejection and abandonment. Pam, on the other hand, had more compassion for the mom and did not hold her failings as a mother against her, even though her life sucked. I thought that highlighted how a traumatic upbringing could impact a person's interpersonal relationships even if the person looked "normal" on the outside.

We also discussed Bethany's mother's attack on the daughter. Linda thought it was good that Leigh was eventually able to connect with the mother in a meaningful way--after stalking her--and the daughter and Bethany were able to correspond, as well. Karin brought up how the mother needed some target, even though they were really all victims. There was a quote in the book about this--how there were no victors, only casualties.

We discussed the dad's relationship with the son and how it was similar to the mother's relationship with her daughter in that they didn't share the same interests and had trouble relating to one another. But we all though it was good that the father eventually made an effort to figure out what his son's interests were so that they could have a connection. I liked the quote about how parents try to give their children what they needed, but their children might need something completely different. Linda liked the quote about how, ideally, parenting is like sending the care packages that Leigh sent her daughter--you put things in it and see if it's what she needs, and if it's not, you change the next care box accordingly.

Next book: 

Our next book is Queen of the Court, by Melanie Howard and Andrea Leidolf. Karin gets extra credit for already having noted this from the last blog post and reading ahead of the syllabus. Linda has agreed to host. Thanks, Shea, for the suggestion!

Saving Cee Cee Honeycutt

Book: Saving Cee Cee Honeycutt - Beth Hoffman

Members present: Christy, Sarah, Annette, Marie, Karin, Linda, Lorelei, Sharon

Venue: Karin's awesome house at the lake! Best venue in the history of book club.

Discussion highlights:

While the book was, as intended, a much lighter choice after reading A Little Life, many of us thought it was a little too light and didn't warrant much discussion. However, Marie really liked it because she likes happy books, and Annette liked it because it was set in Savannah and it reminded her of all the places she saw when she ran a race down there. Annette also liked the discussion of the restoration of the mansions, many of the ancillary female characters, and the story line about the neighbor and her illicit affair with the police officer. Someone liked the relationship between Cee Cee and Oletta. I liked the adventures of the traveling bra. We compared this book to other books in this genre that we've read in book club--Secret Life of Bees, The Help--and agreed that the treatment of racial issues was more superficially addressed in Saving Cee Cee. We discussed why men play a minor role in this genre but I can't remember if we concluded anything.

Marie also brought up how many families probably had an undiagnosed mentally ill parent. We compared Cee Cee's mom to the mom in Divine Secrets of the Ya Ya Sisterhood, which was darker and more complex in its description of what mental illness looks like in a parent. I brought up that meds had only come out in the 50's and were only for the most severe cases, and the only treatment was institutionalization. Whereas now, even with something like autism, people can have a diagnosis but be much higher functioning. So in many of these books, parents were bipolar, alcoholic, etc. but no one knew what to do with them and there was no help available, so they just ended up traumatizing their kids (e.g., Tender at the Bone, Glass Castles). However, Sarah pointed out that Cee Cee was unrealistically well-adjusted, considering that her mom had just committed suicide by walking in front of an ice cream truck, she was abandoned by her dad and forced to move to the South to with a great aunt who she didn't know, and she wasn't even allowed to bring her books! She did have a minor breakdown while picking peaches, but I probably have a breakdown like that whenever I don't have tennis scheduled. But perhaps that says more about my own mental stability!

I'm not exactly sure how this came up, but we also talked about how expensive it is to be present at a Ted Talk, and Sarah gave an interesting review of a Ted Talk on how well children lie: neither parents nor observers were able to discern whether or not children were lying when they said they did not eat a cookie. So beware when a teacher says your child or grandchild did something they shouldn't have and s/he denies it!

Marie discussed how she learned to lie because in Catholic School a nun left the room and when she came back she asked if anyone talked while she was gone and Marie raised her hand and she got hit with a ruler. Lorelei agreed that nuns in Catholic school were mean and shared an anecdote of how her husband engaged in antisocial behavior in order to punish the nuns at his school. Sharon also went to Catholic School and agreed that it was terrible. We also talked about how unnatural it is to be a nun, priest, monk, etc. because many of these books highlight inappropriate sexual behavior that resulted from people in these vocations (e.g., A Little Life).

Linda brought up my conversation with her about my inner infant, and I explained the role of parental attunement in helping a child learn how to label and experience their emotions, which leads to healthy ways of regulating affect, like expressing emotions, versus things like drugs, alcohol, internet, gambling, etc. I have written several blog posts about this, and if you're interested, you can check them out at

https://normalintraining.com/2014/05/08/the-inner-infant/

https://normalintraining.com/2014/09/11/self-soothing/

Wow! That was actually a lot of deep conversation!

But in all honestly, mostly we ate, talked, and played in the pool. So far, Karin wins the prize for Best Book Club Meeting of the Year.

Next book:

Our next book will be For the Rest of Her Life, by Laura Moriarty, and I will be the host. It is about a teenage girl who accidentally kills another girl from her school while driving. The book is told from the mom's perspective and primarily focuses on the strained relationship she has with her daughter. I have read it and thought it was great. I think it will be interesting to compare it to Defending Jacob because it parallels that book in many ways. I also thought it was interesting that each book demonstrates how males and females cope differently with trauma. So this one may push us out of the remedial category, but we're doing pretty good with our discussions, so I think we're ready!

As a preview of what's ahead, Shea has volunteered to do the last book club meeting of the year and has chosen Queen of the Court, by Melanie Howard. I think it's written by someone locally because it references places like River's Edge. It's along the lines of Skinny Dip and is about a murder that takes place among country club tennis players.  That will take us to my goal of 6 books this year, and if we have our next meeting in September and the following meeting in November, if we're feeling really ambitious we can decide to have an end of the year holiday book party in December, and people can bring books they want to give away.

A Little Life

Book: A Little Life - Hanya Yanagihara

Members present: Cindi, Christy, Denise, Shea, Karin, Sharon

Venue: 419 West

Discussion Highlights:

This was an ambitious book that was probably beyond the scope of our remedial book club. Nevertheless, 4 out of the 6 of us read the entire thing--which is no small task, given that it was over 700 pages. Shea and Sharon thought that it was ultimately worth it, but I felt manipulated into reading the whole thing because I wanted to know what happened to Jude and almost stopped reading it several times. And by the end I felt ripped off and concluded that the author is sadistic. I tried to do my usual summary but it was so painful to hear even the cliff notes version that Cindi wanted me to stop. If you haven't read the book because you didn't think you would like it, you were probably right.

Having said all of this, there were some positive things about it. The book is well-written. The length of the book allowed for detailed character development, and there were many characters to develop. The relationship between Willem and Jude was by far the best chapter, even though I was pissed off at the end of it. If I ever met someone like Willem in real life, I will reevaluate my stance on never getting married again. He was that loving. Most of us did not think that Willem was actually gay, but rather that he really loved Jude. The depiction of Jude's grief was particularly good in conveying how painful it is to lose the love of your life.

It was difficult to say what the point of the book was as we tried to summarize it. It's sort of like a Shakespearean tragedy in that everyone dies, but with lots of horrifying trauma described in graphic detail. Sharon could not understand how every single guy he ever met wanted to have sex with him, even as a child. We discussed how, despite the fact that Jude's adult life was filled with success and incredibly loving friends, he was never able to feel deserving of love; the damage that was done could never be undone, and his life was never a happy one. At the same time, he was brilliant and exceptional in many ways, despite his history of trauma, even though he had to rely on excessive self-harm to make life bearable. I was also struck by how well the author was able to convey the complexity of things that seem diametrically opposed but equally true. For example, Brother Luke was clearly a monstrous pedophile and pimp, yet he also taught Jude so many of the things that made him exceptional. Or how the period before his adoption, which was the thing that he had wanted his entire life, was one of the times that he was cutting himself the most because it was so difficult to tolerate something good.

We all think that the author must have had some kind of trauma, or was involved with someone who was severely traumatized, because I'm not sure how you could write this book without knowing what it's like to be that damaged. Karin asked if the book got reviews, and it turns out that the reviews were mixed. There is surprisingly little written on the author. In the book, the author description only says that she lives in New York City. In Wikipedia, it says nothing about her personal life other than that she is of Hawaiian decent, and there is no picture of her. She has another book, but I know I don't want to read it. And if this book is ever turned into a movie, I don't think any of us will go see it. Although I do wonder who they would cast as Jude, because he must have been extraordinarily good-looking.

Next book:

Karin has agreed to host our next meeting, which will be in July at her house at the lake. She has not yet picked a book out, but we all recommended that she choose something lighter and happier.

The Girl on the Train

Book: The Girl on the Train - Paula Hawkins

Members Present: Terrie, Christy, Gina, Annette, Marie, Karin, Denise, Sharon, Lorelei, Cindi, Lina. (Not in photo: Shea) Record attendance!

Venue: Athens

Book Discussion:

Here is one disadvantages of having almost everyone attend book club and to have it at a restaurant: it's hard for everyone to be in the same conversation. Which means there were 2 discussions going on, not necessarily at the same time, and half of the group discussed the book more than the other did. So even though it would seem that this summary isn't necessary since almost everyone was there, it actually is, because not everyone heard what we talked about.

Some people liked the book and some people didn't. Some found it difficult to get into and others found it to be a quick read. Some found the disjointed, out of sequence style difficult to follow. I thought the style was meant to be intentionally confusing so that you could get a sense of what it was like for Rachel to be drunk, blacked out, and hung over most of the time. In fact, if you appreciated the feeling of being in the character's head, you should check out the movie Memento, which is presented in a similar style and meant to illustrate what it's like to have amnesia.

I don't read many mystery novels, but this seemed to be a pretty good one. Most people didn't realize who the killer was until the very end of the book. Marie said she knew right away because Tom was way too nice. I didn't think he was that nice, since he had an affair and left his wife. I thought it was weird that he killed her because, once he hit her harder than he meant to and she was bleeding to death, he thought it would be easier to just finish the job and try to bury her with his bare hands in the middle of a park. It seems like it would be easier just to leave her for dead and get the hell out of there.

All of the characters were crazy, of course, except for the roommate and the therapist. Linda listened to the book on tape and said that the therapist had a really soothing voice, just as a good therapist should. Several people said that it gave them a better appreciation of how difficult it would be to have an addiction and why it's so hard to get better. I mentioned how Rachel was similar to Alice's sister in What Alice Forgot, who became estranged with Alice after she couldn't get pregnant and began isolating herself from everyone because of her grief. And I hadn't thought of it at the time, but Rachel is similar to Megan, too, in that regard. Megan lost her brother when she was a teenager, and her reckless behavior with men was her addiction to cope with her grief.

The book is being turned into a movie, which is supposed to be released some time this year. The info on it can be found here. Lorelei and I didn't like the casting job, since most of them are British and we don't know who they are, so we took the liberty of doing our own casting for the movie. Since we don't know many actors in their 30's, Lorelei just looked up the 50 hottest actors and we based some of our choices entirely on looks. So even though we still don't know who some of these actors are, at least they look more like we thought the characters would look. Here's who we came up with:

Rachel: Jessica Chastain
Megan: Emma Stone
Scott: Chris Helmsworth
Tom: Ryan Gosling
Anna: Margo Robbie
Cathy (roommate): Shailene Woodley
therapist: Ranveer Singh

Next Book:

Linda volunteered to host the next book club. Here is the info on it:

A Little Life by Hanya Yanagihara

When four classmates from a small Massachusetts college move to New York to make their way, they're broke, adrift, and buoyed only by their friendship and ambition. There is kind, handsome Willem, an aspiring actor; JB, a quick-witted, sometimes cruel Brooklyn-born painter seeking entry to the art world; Malcolm, a frustrated architect at a prominent firm; and withdrawn, brilliant, enigmatic Jude, who serves as their center of gravity. Over the decades, their relationships deepen and darken, tinged by addiction, success, and pride. Yet their greatest challenge, each comes to realize, is Jude himself, by midlife a terrifyingly talented litigator yet an increasingly broken man, his mind and body scarred by an unspeakable childhood, and haunted by what he fears is a degree of trauma that he’ll not only be unable to overcome—but that will define his life forever.

Thanks, Sharon, for the recommendation.

We will aim to meet on Wednesday, May 25 @ 6:30 @ 419 West, so mark your calendars.

Until then, happy reading!

Defending Jacob

Book: Defending Jacob - William Landay

Members Present: Shea, Denise, Christy, Sharon, Cindi, Lorelei. Welcome Lorelei and Shea!

Venue: Hollywood's

Book Discussion:

This is the first time in a long time, and perhaps ever, that everyone read the book. We even had a long and intelligent discussion about it. Perhaps it's because we are still within the 3 week period during which people stick to their New Year's resolutions. In any case, we get an A+ for January!

Sharon started the discussion with some excellent, thought-probing questions. Some of the questions we discussed are whether or not there is a murder gene, whether the parents could have done anything differently, whether the father was becoming violent or just responding the way any normal father would, implications of the father's narcissism and denial, whether we thought Jacob was innocent before the ending, how much people lost sleep over the ending, how people felt about the mother's behavior, and whether or not people liked the book. Most people did not believe that murder can be inherited. We were mixed on whether the father was beginning to show his predisposition to violence. Some manifestations of the father's own narcissism were in his superficial evaluation of other people's appearance, the fact that he equated his wife's goodness with her attractiveness, that he continued to see himself as the expert teaching his apprentice how to do an examination, even as he was on the witness stand, and his level of denial and deception in hiding his family history, throwing away the weapon, refusing to see what his son was really like. The wife's behaviors of throwing the knife in the lake and trying to kill Jacob and herself were things that no one saw coming. Most people were shocked by the ending and found it troubling, and most people liked the book.

We also discussed how, because some people have grown up on social media, they do stupid things like confess to crimes, or accuse people of murder, or write "fictional" accounts of how they have committed a murder, not realizing that this information can be used against you.

Cindi reflected how we probably have all been in the kind of denial the father was in, albeit to a lesser degree. I added that I know I was in my first marriage, which, fortunately, at least didn't end in murder. In reference to Jacob's predisposition toward violence, I talked about antisocial personality disorder and how there is no cure for it. I also recommended "The Gift of Fear," by Gavin DeBecker, which discussed men who have similar dispositions and how women can protect themselves from them. I also gave some details in Cho's case, the student responsible for the mass shooting at VT, as a way to illustrate how there is often a lot of denial that goes into the events that lead up to a bad outcome, so the parents were not doing anything differently from what most people do.

Sharon and Denise discussed a similarly disturbing book called "The Room" that closely parallels the kidnapping of the girls by the guy in Cleveland. This book has also been turned into a movie, which they both thought would be difficult to do.

The movie for Defending Jacob is in development. No release date has been set.

Noteworthy News:

Gina got the job at RCC, and I proposed to her so that I could reap the benefits of her membership there, since NDor is closing. No wedding plans are in the works since she needs to get divorced first. She wasn't actually present at the meeting, so this is a good illustration of how we will talk about you if you don't show up. Since Gina is aware of this, she texted me after book club to find out what we said about her, because she is smart. Be like Gina. But not Lorelei, because apparently she hates everyone, which you probably already know if you are friends with her on FB.

We actually didn't gossip that much because our discussion of the book was so long, so the rest of you can relax, although I recommend that you show up in the future.

Next Book:

Denise has volunteered to host the next book club and has chosen "The Girl on the Train," by Paula Hawkins, which is of the same genre as "Defending Jacob." She has chosen the new Greek restaurant downtown. I have never been there so I don't know what is called but am excited about using book club to try out new restaurants! We will meet in March so that we can meet our goal of reading 6 books this year.

After You

Book: After You by Jojo Moyes

Members present: Christy, Denise, Gina, Marie, Linda, Sharon

Venue: Carrabba's

Book Discussion:

Discussion was even shorter than usual because we were so hungry. That was my excuse, at least. For those of us who finished it, we liked Me Before You better. The book started a little slow but got better eventually. Sharon thought the ending was surprising. Gina liked Louisa's dad. I didn't think it was as good of an exploration of grief as What Alice Forgot was, but still worth reading. I thought Wynona Ryder would have been a good Lily when she was a teenager. We couldn't come up with any other casting suggestions.

Marie said that Me Before You is going to be a movie, and it is supposed to be released in march of 2016. So we may have to do a book club movie date! Here is the link: Me Before You. I don't recognize any of the actors. Maybe they're British or Australian? They did not pick Ben Affleck to play Will, as Sharon suggested.

Noteworthy News:

We were so hungry we didn't even gossip that much. The big news is that Linda is now living in Roanoke and has joined book club. Yay! She is also available to sub, if anyone needs one.

Lorelei has also joined our group but was sick and couldn't make it.

And I kicked several people out because they never showed up.

Next Book:

Sharon will be hosting our next book, which is Defending Jacob by William Landay. Venue will be 2nd Helpings. You can check out their website here. We will meet in December so that can at least get 4 books in for 2015, because that's already a pretty low number, even for a remedial book club.

The Hypnotist's Love Story

Members Present: Christy, Annette, Cindi, Sharon, Teri, Marie, Terrie (eventually :))

Venue: Wildflour

Book Discussion:

In general, everyone liked the book but still liked "What Alice Forgot," by the same author, better. We may never read book that we will love more than that one. So if you haven't read it, I highly recommend it.

We spent a good portion of the time summarizing the book for Annette. It was more complex than it seems on the surface. Everyone agreed that Ellen was a lot like me--the kind of person who would try to befriend her stalker. 

Marie thought Patrick was a jerk and that he totally used Ellen. I don't think he's that different from most guys--not good or bad, but quick to find a mother figure and not big on providing closure after a break up. 

Some people felt bad for Jack, Patrick's son, since he lost his mom and then lost Saskia. I thought he seemed pretty well-adjusted. 

Everyone but me liked Ellen's mom, Anne--the single mother/physician who is the exact opposite of Ellen. She does seem to have fun with her two sisters (or were they just friends?). Someone like Shirley McLaine would probably play her. Or is she too old now?

We kept trying to do the discussion questions but ended up gossiping instead. Some of the things we discussed were how the male characters in the book were less interesting than the female characters. Most people could not relate to being dumped because everyone is married but me. I totally admit to being like Saskia in that I will not let the guy end the relationship by ignoring me. 

We also discussed how it's much easier to stalk people these days and some people admitted to looking up some people of interest from the past but not going as far as making contact. I bet you're wondering who, aren't you? Guess you should have been there! 

One of my favorite lines of Saskia's is when she says "if Patrick had been killed in a car accident, I would have been allowed to grieve for him for years. People would have sent me flowers and dropped off casseroles. I would have been allowed to keep his photos up, to talk about him, to remember the good times. But because he dumped me, because he was still alive, my sadness was considered undignified and pathetic."

I also liked her new friend's motto: "knit, don't stalk." Sounds like good therapy to me!

All of the info on hypnosis was accurate. Marie wanted to know if it would work for weight loss. As it indicates in the book, hypnosis works well for things that you are highly motivated for--like avoiding pain, reducing anxiety. It tends to be less effective for things like weight loss, addictions, etc. because we're more ambivalent about giving them up. I told everyone how they can use suggestions as a form of self-hypnosis. See all the useful info you missed out on?

In other book club news, the movie Gone Girl is apparently better than the book, which is rare. The wife--I forget her name--was nominated for Best Actress.

Noteworthy News:

- Teri is officially moving to Colorado, so this will probably be her last book club :(.

- Marie is shopping for tennis clothes on the sales rack because she's retired. So if you hear of any sales, let her know.

- Gina knew we were talking about her and texted me to tell us to stop. 

- I was sick and had to leave early to get my drugs, so that's partly why our book discussion was so short.

I guess there actually wasn't much news to report.

Next Book:

This is Where I Leave You - Jonathan Tropper

Also a movie that some people have seen and loved. I haven't seen the movie, but I know the book is way better. It was freakin' hilarious. I don't know how someone can come up with so many funny lines in one book. But feel free to cheat if you want and just see the movie. It's mainly about the food and good company, anyway.